My goodness, at times I don't even know where to start........ at times I just wanted to week to be over, and other times, I wish could just pause time and hold on to the moment. Most of you know that my friends daughter Sydney Tackett passed away Tuesday morning, and if you know me at all, I have NO STRENGTH in times like those. But I can really start telling you about the doom and gloom of losing someone I loved so much, or I can tell you about the AMAZING CELEBRATION OF LIFE SERVICE I was able to be part of. Sydney's funeral was closed casket with the exception of family, she looked beautiful......nothing like the Sydney we had seen at Riverside on Tuesday morning. She truly still radiated true beauty.... I watched my friends Matt and Michelle as they prepared to say a permanent goodbye to their precious little girl, but was I in for such a big surprise! Sydney's ENTIRE service revolved around the fact that we are going to see her again, and the precious ways she had touched so many lives. There was no way I could shed tears of sorrow... because she captivated all that was pure, and wonderful. It has been a blessing to me to just be considered part of this family...... and I know I posted on Facebook, that it's easy to know why Sydney was so amazing, once you met the families who raised her... The Conleys, Strouths, and McFaddens......you have so much to be proud of!
My friend Michelle was a rock. You know how you meet someone, and you connect......but there is part of you that still looks for some kind of flaw....something that will help you know that you should still be cautious.... She was the epitome of a woman of faith this week. She was a pillar of strength, a grieving mother, she had her mommy arms that needed to comfort 3 other babies, she planned a funeral with some "roadblocks".....and above all........she had PRAISES to JESUS on her lips.... she had a peace about her baby girl that surpassed my human mind. I am thankful for my relationship with Michelle. I am a better person, because she is in my life.
Moments that I wanted to stand still..... all the encouraging texts, and well wishes...I have never been so "checked on" in my adult life. I am so thankful for our Circleville First Church Family! The ladies who sent messages, watched our kids, *bought Jay's planning lesson book that we forgot about*, please know every text......every message meant the world.....I appreciate you all so much.
Another moment I wished I could just push the pause button, was when I got to hold a precious new miracle one of our church families was blessed with. Mommy had a C-section earlier in the morning, and I couldn't wait to get off work and to the hospital to meet that little guy! Michelle had sent me a verse earlier that day, that said the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.....it was so bittersweet to be celebrating the end of a life of one of my friends children, and be celebrating a new life with another friend......but while I held that precious baby... everything else just drifted away....the last part of Michelle's message said "PRAISE THE LORD". I had the opportunity to pray with mommy and baby, and in my heart I truly was praising him.
I have so many jumbled thoughts in my head and on my heart that I could continue to ramble forever, but my thought for you this week is this....... how many amazing people and relationships have YOU missed out on because YOU were waiting to see the flaw in someone? You were waiting for the moment that you could keep that wall built high! Or YOU missed out because someone else told you about another person's flaws...... I firmly believe sometimes we build walls... to see who is willing to stick around long enough to tear them down..... what are your thoughts?
Tonya, I don't know why but I am just reading this for the first time. It's the day after Thanksgiving so you wrote this 3 months ago. Sometimes that "week" seems like such a blur!!! I'm sure most of that was because I will still in a state of shock. I know that we totally prepared for the possibility of losing Syd but it really doesn't matter how prepared we are, when it happens it's shocking! I can't say as I have been to very many funerals but the ones I have been too were nothing like I wanted Syd remembered. She was so full of life right up until they rolled her away for surgery. Not a tear in her eye...laughing most of the time! I still swear that in the back of her mind God had planted His plan for her and she knew it. We knew it too by the things she talked about this time before surgery. It took looking back though, to realize it.
ReplyDeleteGod is my strength! You too are my strength. I have learned over the years that I have spent 9 years of feeding off of how Sydney "felt" any given day. If she felt good, then I felt good. If she felt bad, then I felt bad. Not that I didn't have my own feelings, it's just we were that connected. She was a part of me...and always will be. I also feed a lot off of you. I spill my guts to you, my deepest feelings and you help me sort thru them. I like that! Again, not that I don't have my own thoughts and feelings...but we are just that connected...you are a part of me!!! God so totally knew when He put us together, that I would need you that much. He knew you would help me "deal" with tons of things. It's funny because I see myself as such a weakling and you are so strong, but to read what you've written here (and tons of other places) you see me as I see you...a rock!!!! And how cool is it that we both know who our true ROCK is...the ROCK that put us together in the first place.
Hope this all doesn't seem like a bunch of babble. I can sum up all of this in 3 words...I LOVE YOU!!!
*Michelle*